Are you mixing and matching pieces?

I've always told God that I wanted to marry a man who heart resembles His. See, I figured if his heart resembles God's I know that his intentions would always be pure. I knew that he would love me unconditionally, right or wrong, thick or thin, good or bad and until death do us part. I knew that he would protect me emotionally, spiritually and mentally. That he would be strong enough to handle me. All of me, and everything I come with. See, I understand that I am a tough cookie but on the inside I'm soft and gooey. I understand me and the call on my life attracts a lot of unwanted attacks. I understand that my mouth can sometimes get the best of me and my attitude can be sharp at times. I know rejection, abandonment, trust issues and fear all too well. I know that I am afraid but by any means necessary I'll do it anyway because I hate being scared. See, all this I get but if his heart resembles God he'll know how to love me through ALL I've been through. 

Something I learned about God is that He loves us through our love languages(Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. If you don't know your love language you can take the test at 5lovelanguages.com) My top 2 love languages are Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. So to know that Jesus got beat for me and did not quit or mumble or nothing. That with every lash He took He had ME on His mind. That the humiliation of walking through a crowd and carrying a cross to His death was because He thought that I was worth it. That I was worth dying for. That as He got nailed and hung to a cross and poked and laughed at, it was for me. Then died and went to hell in my place. I don't know what went on there but from what the bible says hell isn't a place anybody wants to go to. Jesus is the Son of God; at any moment He could've stopped everything and proved to everybody just who He really was BUT He first wanted to prove to me that He loves me by any means necessary and chose to show off and conquer hell and death second. He did not have to but He did and that just blows my mind and brings tears to my eyes. Then to read the bible and spend time with Him to hear him tell me how beautiful I am, how proud of me He is and how loved, special and how much I mean to Him just sweeps me off my feet and leaves me speechless. And to know He did all this even before me knowing the ways I receive love. He did all this even when I was unloveable, when I pushed Him away and wanted nothing to do with Him. But waited for me with open arms to love on me and grow and heal with me after all of the damaged I've caused. Man, I love God!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why my loyalty is to God. He comes through always.

Now you see why I told God I wanted to marry a man who heart resembles His. There is this gentlemen who looked nothing liked what I was normally attracted to. He was socially awkward, super innocent and he was always there, even when I did not want him to be. It annoyed me. I mistreated him, broke his heart, and was so unloveable and every time I needed help he was there with open arms. He never held a grudge, never disrespected me or tried to play me. Even when I was evil his character never changed. He never sought revenge for the wrong I've done to him. Everybody talked about him because he kept pursuing me even when I was mistreating him. He did not care and never said anything back to prove his manhood to them. He seen me hurting and prayed for me when I couldn't pray for myself. He was more interested in my mental, emotional and physical health than he was his own feelings for me. He understood there was an assignment on my life and whether I wanted to accept it or not he was not going to allow me to run from it. He stayed up with me in the late night hours as I worked and he encouraged me. He put in work with me all while working and perfecting his own craft. He never ran even when I pushed him away. Even when everything in my world came crashing down he step in and helped even when my attitude was nasty and words were deadly. He went through hell on earth for me because to him I was worth it. He did not have to do none of what he did especially because we barely knew each other. He told me that from the first time we met and I told him if he wasn't go praise God with me he had to go, he knew something was different about me. And even in the midst of the hell he went through for me that he made a promise to God to not leave me and even when things were getting hard and caused him pain God graced him with the strength to endure because God told him not to leave and he was going to keep his promise. Even when I tried to leave and date other guys his main concern was that I never got disrespected and got my heart broken again. He reminded me of who I was in God and if I felt another guy was the one then I should go and be happy but to remember I deserve the very best and that I am loved, and special and chosen to do great things. From what I thought I didn't want and what wouldn't worked turned out to flow naturally. We begin to balance each other out and although we still have our issues this time it isn't forced.

Even before I fell in love with God or him they were both loving me in the best way I received loved even when I did not realize it. Since 2014 when I rededicated my life back to Christ, God was dealing with me and the guys I was settling for. I was compromising. God told me to write a list out of everything I wanted in my husband. I remember changing a few things because the guy I was dealing with at the time did not have some of those qualities. Months went by and God saved me from my emotions and I got out of that relationship we kept trying to force. God had me recreate my list and this time there was no compromising. I met a guy who was everything thing I wanted exactly in my husband, literally everything. Although he was everything I wanted he was not for me. We would never work no matter how good we looked together, how our dreams and visions aligned. We seemed so right for one another but it was always something.

God has someone specifically designed just for us. God gave me the revelation that He made woman from the rib of man because no two man's rib is not the same, neither is no two women or two people's assignments. Eve was perfect for Adam because she fit for him and him only. God talked to me about how he created marriage to create a team because we are more affective together than apart, but it's up to us to be more affective for the kingdom or the world. This is why the devil is working so hard to destroy marriages and families because he knows when the right pieces are linked together the assignment can be complete. Just like when you put a puzzle together of a bird but you are missing one piece. You find a puzzle piece that will fit but it is from another puzzle which creates a dog and not a bird. Adding the dog piece will complete your puzzle but the assignment of the puzzle to create a bird will not be completed, neither will the assignment of the dog puzzle because it is now missing a piece. You get it? Just because something seems like a perfect fit does not mean it is the perfect piece. God reveled to me that every woman that is to be married is made from the rib of her husband and the point of waiting until marriage to have sex is so they can become one and all the pieces be returned together and they can complete their assignment. 

I challenge you to check your puzzle. Are you mixing and matching pieces?

                  -BrianaLatriece